Why is it often so often hard for people to figure out their own sense of style? Why do so many people put a lot of time, effort, and money into decorating their homes, only to step back when it's done and be underwhelmed with the overall result? Why are so many people frustrated at how little their homes actually please them, resemble them, feel like a place they actually live in?
I blame the emphasis in years past on buying "sets": bedroom sets, living room sets, dining sets, office sets.
Not only are they usually done in a pedestrian, "lowest common denominator" way meant to appeal to the masses, they often feature cheesy iterations of trending styles, with the trendy characteristic(s) exaggerated to the point of being ridiculous-- and all of it done as cheaply as possible. They create an almost eerie matchy-matchy sameness and thus lack of individuality to a room, making it clear that little thought was put into choosing each piece because you just picked "a set" and that was it.
So why is this bad?
You lose a chance to balance out other aspects of a room, like liven it up with a smaller amount of bright color, add texture where it's mostly flat or smooth, add roundness to a room of right angles, etc. And having everything the same color, shape, texture, etc. means it's easy to cause an imbalance in the room that will be hard to counter with the remaining elements that go in it.
Your home isn't a corporate lobby or a chain restaurant
Your home isn't a corporate lobby to fill with impersonal, un-lived-in furnishings, nor a chain restaurant where everything is identical to the apartment next door or house across the street. You're a unique person. Your home should reflect that.
Homes acquire a sense of character when they represent the people who live in them, when the pieces in it are collected individually, chosen because something appeals about the item specifically and not just because "it came with the set". That's why I prefer to mismatch throw pillows, end tables and nightstands, and lamps.
Each piece is another opportunity to put a bit of yourself into your home, to make it truly yours and distinguished from any other home, any other person. You squander that opportunity by letting someone else choose three or more pieces in the same room.
But what if picking everything separately means the streamlined look I wanted has turned into something... not so streamlined.
It's okay to have a home that doesn't strictly adhere to a single style or design period. We don't live in the French Empire or mid-nineteenth century so it's perfectly fine if you have some pieces in a room that don't ascribe completely to a single aesthetic. It's also okay to like not just multiple styles but all the styles. There is nothing wrong with liking many or all areas of design, and incorporating them into your home-- all in the same room if you like.
Just don't expect your place to have a strictly cohesive look; it'll be 'eclectic' and/or depending on how many different cultures/countries you draw from, 'bohemian'. Eclectic is my favorite because it's so personal, so representative of the resident's history, interests, passions, influences, tastes.
Both are wonderful styles, though these days have frequently been called feminine and thus avoided by people wanting a more masculine look. Don't let people try to turn you off of them because of that-- both can be done with perfect masculinity, it just depends on how.
Conclusion
By avoiding the use of sets, you avoid a cookie-cutter home and instead take advantage of so many chances to custom-design a place that is totally you. You end up surrounding yourself with little aspects of yourself, and it feels comfortable and familiar and safe and welcoming. You look around and everything is familiar, pleasing, precisely what you wanted and what you feel is the best choice for the purpose. It truly becomes a home.
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