Let's start this blog off with a bang! (hur hur hur)
If you're planning on bringing hookups back to your place, there are some things you can do to make it an easy, comfortable evening. Show the target of your affections what a considerate lover you are by taking the following steps.
Placement/Layout
If you have the space in your bedroom, don't have your bed in a corner-- keep some walking space on each side of the bed. No one likes having to crawl over the other occupant of the bed to use the bathroom, get a drink, or make a speedy getaway. If you have a wood or tiled floor, maybe put a rug down where a person's feet would hit, so they don't have to stand on a cold surface.
Peripherals
Have a nightstand on each side of the bed, also, so both people have somewhere to put their phone, a glass of water, eyeglasses, hearing aid, dentures... anything they need close to hand while they sleep. If you want to be extra fancy, add a little dish or tray so they have a place to put any jewelry they might remove.
Another thing to have is a pair of lamps-- one on each nightstand so three a.m. potty trips aren't a blind obstacle course in the dark through an unfamiliar place. Stubbed toes are nobody's friend.
A chair is helpful for them to put their clothes on, and to sit on when they get dressed again. A padded/upholstered bench at the foot of the bed would work, too, as well as be convenient for various positions you might want to contort yourselves into during the course of the proceedings.
Good blackout curtains are a must for privacy during sexytimes... and light control after them, so the harsh light of day doesn't blind you in your hungover post-coital stupor. They should easy to open and close so you can just give a quick yank and don't have to screw around with tiebacks-- hanging them on rings is the easiest way to accomplish this. Don't do blinds; it's impossible to suavely twiddle those dumb sticks to open and close them.
A small wastebin/basket under or by a nightstand is needed so you have somewhere close and easy to dispose of used condoms and their wrappers, empty lube packets, ripped panties, and bitten-through ball gags.
In case this needs to be said... clean the place. No dirty laundry mountains to scale, no balled-up t-shirts or crumpled boxers to trip over en route to the bed; no empty Gatorade bottles from last night's CoD session or WoW raid; no snowdrifts of used tissues or crusty socks. You might even sweep or vacuum!
The Bed Itself
A headboard (or bed frame) will make the place look grown-up and give her (or you) something to hold on to. Make sure the side nearest the wall is padded so there's no noisy thumping to wake up parents, roommates, neighbors, children, or anyone else who might be awoken by your booty call.
Pay attention to how high the bed frame will be once the mattress is in it. Some of them are very low and it can be unpleasant to claw your way vertical and lurch up out of bed in a place you're unfamiliar with.
Bedding
Have plenty of pillows (at least two per person, one very fat and fluffy and the other flatter) in case you need to stack them under one or both of you. Have an extra throw blanket to pull up over the covers in case she's one of those always-freezing-cold types.
A good washable mattress protector under the fitted sheet is a must-have, to save your mattress from eventually looking like someone spilled a bucket of maple syrup over it.
I shouldn't have to say this, but... your bedding shouldn't have cartoon or any other kind of characters on them. Solid colors, perhaps a tasteful stripe or pattern or print, but no Spongebob or Power Rangers or Attack on Titan linens, please.
Sheets
Sheets should be freshly washed; no one wants to fuck in a bed that stinks of other people, even if it's just your own pong from a few days of sleeping or that of your basset hound, who likes to nap in the bed.
They should not be stained, even if it's just a smear of salsa from last week's nacho platter. If the stains don't come out, even with proper and through washing, replace them. No one wants to fuck on sheets that look like peeled-off Civil War bandages.
The sheets should be in good condition-- no rips or busted elastic or loose hems or threads. Fitted sheets should be deep enough to fully encompass your mattress and not ride up on the sides. They should fit snugly, without the corners pulling off because the elastic is too loose or the sheet itself is the wrong size.
Cheap sheets will pill (form little balls of rubbed-off fibers) with use, so get a few decent-quality sets. Pills can be itchy and abrasive, so they're often hard on the knees. If a lot of kneeling is going on. You know.Stick to natural fibers: cotton, linen, bamboo, silk. Synthetics like viscose or polyester don't 'breathe' like natural fibers do, and thus tend to retain heat and moisture. You want to be sweaty and sticky because you had good sex, not because you're sweltering in crappy plastic sheets.
Conclusion
You'll become known as a superlative, thoughtful lover if you create a space that removes the obstacles to having a damned good time. Even if your technique is laughable, your dick is tiny, your tongue gets tired after only 30 seconds, or you run out of batteries, your bed buddy will still be wowed by what a great place and amenities you provided for them.
"He's a terrible lay, but that thread count!"
These suggestions don't just apply if your guests are female, too: they'll all work equally well should you bring a nice gentleman home with you, too.
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